The first week...

Quick blog update. And actually, whoever had their money on my blog not even lasting till the end of February, you've probably won. I think after this I’m gonna stop, just because... most of what I’m planning on writing in this blog has already gone on my facebook, so I just feel like I’m repeating myself. And facebook is easier. Andd pretty soon things are gonna be much less exciting and novel. Soo, if you wanna stay updated, you know what to do! (facebook.com/jazmojica)

Random stuff:
-I think Sovann’s dealing with both the time change and the cold better than me... but we’re both adjusting, slowly.
-I just found out that even though I have the credits to graduate in 2 years, it’s UVM’s policy to spend a full 3 years there to graduate from their social work program, which I’m pissed about. College is such a rip off.
-We’re still kind of at a loss of what Sovann can do for the next three months while he waits for his work permit... but if anyone knows of odd jobs around town he could do, let me know. I’ve been looking on Craigslist, but it’s pretty much all people advertising that they want work :/ And I’m beginning to start my job search. So... obviously we’re not in *any* sort of routine yet, but we’ll get there eventually.
-Sovann sometimes says he doesn’t miss home, and sometimes says he’s homesick: to be expected. Luckily his family can call him on his cell phone for only 6 cents a minute!

So the other night was really fun when we went over to Skyler and Jenny’s (my brother and his fiancee) - Sovann and Sky bonded over WWE (not watching it, but talking about the wrestlers... I just found that so random) and Sovann and Jenny bonded over cooking a delicious stir fry! And Jenny was intent on learning how to say “I want to fuck you” in Khmer, so for awhile in the kitchen, Sovann and Jenny were just saying back and forth to each other “I want to fuck you,” “I want to fuck you!” while chopping up vegetables and whatnot :P And Skyler put on some Khmer karaoke songs (youtube) which was bizarre to hear in that setting. We also went to a little Asian market with them where we found out we could buy some of Sovann’s favorite foods for cheap! Chicken feet, gizzards, stomach, etc... and MSG of course :P Prices here are so weird -- I expected everything to be pretty expensive, which some things definitely are, like lemon grass and galangal and, well, most vegetables and fruits really. But meat is actually pretty damn cheap, especially from Costco. Also quite a stark difference that we noticed was that a package of incense that cost about $1 (same brand) in Cambodia costs $8 here.. ha, glad we stocked up.

We also spent a lovely evening at Nin&Poppy’s house. Poppy had just caught trout in the lake and brought them home for dinner. Sovann watched him fillet one fish and was amazed by everything he was throwing out: all the “best” parts of the fish! So Sovann kept all the “insides” (organs), the skin, and the head to eat. It was an eye-opening experience for them both... Poppy said, “I’ll never look at a trout the same way again!” So Sovann cooked up his portion his way, and Nin&Poppy cooked it theirs, and everyone agreed that they were both delicious. Sovann’s pretty excited to be receiving all the “unused” parts from Poppy’s future fishing trips, and Poppy even gave us a whole fish to bring home that day! Yumm.

We also got to meet up with Alison, Julian, and Willa (friends who had come to visit us in Cambodia) at Ben&Jerry’s! It was great to see them, and we hope we’ll get a chance to see some of Julian’s soccer games, and maybe Sovann can play sometime. At first when I told Sovann we were going to an ice cream shop he seemed really resistant - I asked him why and he said he’s afraid of it cause it’s “too modern” (even though he was fine to meet, for example, Sky&Jenny in an upscale clothing store, and he didn’t even know what Ben&Jerry’s looked like!) Silly guy. After I asked him if it was alright - he said yeah, but still a little bit scary. At least he liked the “half baked” milkshake we got!

On Saturday evening we had family over to the house which was really great. Sovann just kept whispering in my ear throughout the evening “Your uncles, your aunts, your grandparents, your relatives are all so kind!” And when we got mom on Skype, the first thing Sovann said was “This is an amazing night, mum!” And he told us he must have done something really great in his past life to be able to meet such wonderful people in this life. :)

Then yesterday we met up with Dylan and Alanna (my brother and his wife) - it was so funny to see Dylan with a big beard! We went down to Rutland and they treated us to Japanese food - Sovann doesn’t like sushi, but he enjoyed his seafood teriyaki dish pretty well. We were amused because there was a bottle of chili powder on the table, and Sovann just kept shaking it on his food because it wasn’t spicy enough for him... and before we knew it, the whole bottle was empty! On the way back home from Rutland I fell asleep in the truck - as I was dozing off I heard Sovann and Poppy talking together in the front seat and I wondered how well they were managing to communicate without me ‘translating.’ Heh, I think about how I used to talk when I was really little: I’ve been told that nobody could understand a word I said, except my mom, so she would just repeat whatever I said and people would be astonished that she understood. That’s kind of how I feel about Sovann sometimes - I mean, he can definitely communicate with people on his own, but at times I just feel the need to step in to make things easier. It’s good for him to practice without me though, and it probably allows him to bond with people better... so maybe I should butt out :P Anyway, so I fell asleep, and when I woke up the car was stopped but we weren’t home. Poppy said, “Look behind you,” and there was a cop car! He got a speeding ticket - going 63 in a 40mph zone! Haha, Sovann was like, “Sorry you got a ticket but I’m happy I had the experience.” He said it made him a little bit scared of driving. I asked him what he thought the biggest difference was between being pulled over here vs in Cambodia. He said the price here is much higher (yeah, $1 versus $100 dollars, and that’s only cause the cop was feeling nice!) but the police are more fair (I’m assuming he means going by he book rather than taking bribes.) And he was surprised that the cop came to our car, instead of in Cambodia where they make the people come out and then “say the bad word to them.”

Soo... that’s the basic summary of our week. I’ve also enjoyed Sovann’s reactions to random little things he’s never seen that I would otherwise never think twice about: rocking chairs, lemon squeezers, fireplaces, remote car starters, strange foods like jello and Mtn Dew. He just played Super Nintendo for the first time too! But he’s not the only one experiencing new things; I find myself out of my element sometimes too. The big thing this week was driving a car! Sara was nice enough to let us take hers downtown, and driving kinda freaked me out. Also little things here and there... for example, the first couple times I took a shower I wondered why there was so much water on the floor after, until I realized that part of the shower curtain has to hang inside the tub :P

Soo, that’s all folks. Probably just expect to see me posting updates on Facebook unless I happen to feel so inspired to blog again. :)

The adventure begins.

(P.S. This is a really, really long free write, and I’m not gonna proof read, so... sorry! :P)

Alright people. I have to say, I probably enjoyed writing the first couple blogs more than I’m gonna enjoy writing this one, cause now there are all these high expectations of interesting stuff I’m supposed to be sharing and I dunno if it’s gonna live up to that. Also it’s 5am, so don’t judge. (Worse comes to worse the blog isn’t entertaining which means I’m off the hook for writing it anymore! hehe)

Okay, SO, total travel time from Cambodia to Vermont was 48 hours. Forty-eight hours of hell. Sovann was so hungover the morning we had to leave Siem Reap. (He got coined; last time that’s gonna happen for awhile!) I wasn’t really hungover, but had gotten 3 hours of sleep, so that was no good. We had to go overland to Bangkok, wait for our flight which was at 3am, and then we were off (feeling a bit better, but still.) So, this wasn’t the first plane ride ever for Sovann - we flew from Bangkok to Chiang Mai once – but that was like a 40 minute flight. This time we had a 7+ hour flight to Kuwait (where Sovann noted “Everyone here is Indian!” and I suggested that actually a lot of them were probably Kuwaiti; he was intrigued by that notion) and then a 13 and a half hour flight to JFK. (And then a 7 hour layover and a quick flight to Burlington.) The flights and everything were okay (lots of rice served for Sovann), just fucking long. Immigration and customs were fine (except a customs officer asking me if Sovann was my son! Wtf??)

                In JFK I resigned myself to buying a $7 (plus tax, novel concept) meal of chicken wings to split  – caught myself handing the cashier money with my hand touching my elbow in the polite Asian way, a habit I can say goodbye to now. I taught Sovann the name and value of different coins, something I hadn’t thought of before. Oh, and I showed him what a water fountain was. (“Everyone puts their mouth on the same thing!?” “Well not on the actual metal!”) So, the obvious question is “How did it feel to be back in America?” and although airports are kinda weird and so they don’t really count as being in a country, there were some things I’d already noticed and found... comforting. I saw American commercials on TV, something I haven’t seen in forever, and although I’m sure I’ll be sick of them soon, I actually found them kind of entertaining. There were officials who spoke (fluent) English – people who could give me straight-forward answers that I understood! (Well, that’s not always true, we kept being told to move to different immigration lines when I told different officers that he had a fiance visa. Turns out not everything in America is very organized either!) At one point in the airport I went in the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror, and thought, “Oh no, my friends are gonna tell me how fat I’ve gotten!” And then I remembered, nope, that won’t happen here! They might think it, but at least I won’t have to hear the reminder :P And when we stepped off the plane into the cold air for a moment, there was somehow some comfort in that too. It’s so funny – cold, cold air completely surrounding my body hadn’t happened in so long – almost three years really... it felt so novel, but familiar at the same time. So anyway, there were a few little oddities that I enjoyed. I know most of you are more looking forward to hearing Sovann’s impressions, and don’t worry, they’re coming later...

                So, at the Burlington airport, friends and family were there to greet us! Oh my god, it was so great. Sovann commented that one of my friends (Dan, 6’9”) was taller than his house. Haha, not true, but he seemed pretty convinced. Then Sovann and I, Skyler (my brother), and three of my friends (from high school) went to Denny’s. Welcome to America! :P I managed to find something on the menu that Sovann enjoyed – Tilapia – and I ate his mashed potatoes covered with melted cheese. Mmmmm. I found myself very incompetent at the restaurant. Well, first I completely missed the door, but that was just a fluke. What I found disturbing is that I didn’t know how to politely get the waiters’ attention. I kept wanting to gesture for them to come over from across the room, but it seemed wrong. And when they didn’t come for awhile,  I just wanted to stand up, walk over to them, and put in my order, which also seemed a little off. And Sky gave me shit for asking if the pitcher of water was free (you gotta pay for water in most restaurants in the Reaper!)

                So, then to the house! On the way Sovann immediately commented on how clean this country is. Wondered if he would notice the lack of trash; apparently yes. He also noted how nice all of the houses are. He said he thought the driving laws seemed the same as in Cambodia – and when I thought about it, I think he’s right, it’s just that nobody actually follows them in Cambodia. When we got the house I was reminded of how beautiful it is, and Sovann definitely thought so too. Big kitchen, comfortable couches, an awesome bed. Sovann said it’s such a big house – I can’t wait to show him what an actually-big American house looks like! So anyway, Sovann called his mom and then made some rice. He tried a lemon for the first time! So funny, they call limes lemons in Cambodia, but he had never actually seen a lemon. He said it tastes the same as a lime. I tried American milk, because I was curious how it would taste now that I’m used to strange Cambodian milk, and it definitely tasted bland. Sovann commented on how squeaky the floors are – something you don’t hear much in Cambodian houses. We went to sleep at about 3:30 or 4am.

                The next morning, I woke up at 6am, thinking about how screwed I would be screwed trying to stay up the rest of the day to fight off jet lag. (Spoiler alert, I actually stayed up until 8pm with no nap and almost no caffeine!) Oh wait, rewind a little bit, I forgot to touch on one very important subject: the cold weather! Sovann’s so amazing; he walked to and from the car multiple times (at the airport, the restaurant, and the house) with a T-shirt and flip-flops! What a trooper. I asked him yesterday what the most surprising or unexpected thing has been so far and he said the cold weather – even after all our warning him about how ridiculously cold it would be! And for Vermont, this isn’t even that bad. But yeah, I’m sure nobody’s surprised that he’s surprised by the cold!

                Anyway, that morning was awesome. I had the best shower ever with actual strong water pressure! I had an apple that tasted like a delicious apple! (Had an orange later; mmmm.) I drank water out of the tap; how strange! Went to the bathroom with no “bum gun”; how gross. Sovann woke up a little later and told Sara (my aunt) how he wished his girlfriend was a man (...awkward silence...) because then he could wrestle/fight with me in the morning to warm up. A little later this was our conversation: (Me:) “Did you take a shower?” “Yeah.” “You know how to work it?” “No.” “So... how’d you take a shower?” “I used the sink.” So I taught him how to use the actual shower :P Later he tried some cat food and thought it was delicious, so we’ve decided we’ll stock up on some when we go to Costco. Turkey and gravy flavored, and cheap compared to human food! Yum.

                Soo that morning we got to see Nin & Poppy (my grandparents) which was awesome! They brought us to a grocery store and we bought some food – I asked Sovann what he thought of the store and he said “Weird.” “Weird how?” “It’s like... a Western grocery store.” Ha, that’s all he could articulate at the moment. We drove to the house and as the garage door opened (triggered by the remote in the car) Sovann perked up and alarmingly asked, “Who opened that!?” :) We had some salmon there - yum! Sovann was happy to cook some rice and the salmon skin to eat. I went shopping with Nin to get bras (yes!! so sick of bras that fall apart in two months, even if they are only three dollars) and pants (thank god, I only had one pair of long pants and they’re my dad’s!) Then we went downtown with my brother and got to see Jenny (his fiancee) for a few minutes and walk around town. Sovann asked (a couple times) if there were always so many people walking around town like that – I guess there aren’t many places in Siem Reap with a lot of people, other than tourists, wandering about. He also said “I never see the teenagers fight here” which I find strange because I’ve never really seen that in Siem Reap either. He noted that none of the trees have any leaves, which I explained will change in summer (oh my god, I can’t wait for him to see autumn foliage!!) Oh, and we discovered a new American food that Sovann actually likes: bologna! But poor Sovann’s stomach has been bad lately – some things never change I guess :(

                Anyway, a little later we met my friends downtown – so good to see them! It was actually funny, I met Kayla who’s one of my best friends but when I first saw her I like... forgot to get excited or even remember that this was the first time I hadn’t seen her in forever. I think it’s a reflection of how I feel being here with friends and family: it’s just so easy to pick up where you left off, almost like you’ve never been gone. I think that’s a sign of a really good friend. So then we went to Tiny Thai, a Thai restaurant in town. This brings up another topic: my (or our) realization of people’s (Americans’) geographical ignorance. But I don’t mean ignorance with a negative connotation, as that would be hypocritical because I’m super bad with geography too... like, embarrassingly so. And lots of people in Cambodia don’t even know that there’s an ocean between the US and Europe, so I’m really not one to judge. It’s just new for us that we’re in a place where people aren’t familiar with Asian... stuff. Like in the Kuwait airport a worker who was checking our passports asked where Cambodia was – Sovann tried to tell her “Angkor Wat country” but of course that didn’t ring any bell for her either. And when we were deciding where to go to eat my friends suggested a place nearby which they thought was Vietnamese but once we got there we realized was Chinese (which Sovann doesn’t like.) Ehh, Vietnamese, Chinese, same same but different. And when we were on our way to the Thai restaurant Kayla asked “What kind of food does Tiny Thai have?” Haha. So, Sovann got Tom Yam with rice (his favorite) – he said was good which I was thankful for cause I was afraid they would Americanize the dish too much so he wouldn’t like it, but no problem. Oh, and a note on prices: so I know some of you worry that we’re gonna be blown away (and in pain) because of prices here. And while I’m definitely not thrilled on spending $7 on a meal (plus tip and tax which adds up! the Tom Yam was actually reasonably priced, but then the rice was $2! crazy), I think we’ve mentally prepared really well so we’re not totally dying. Like, in Cambodia we kept telling him the price of ridiculously expensive things, so now when I make him guess how much something costs he actually overestimates.

                Soo, we got to bed at about 8 last night, woke up 3am this morning. I felt a little homesick, missing Cambodia, but I didn’t wanna let Sovann on in case it would make him feel upset too. (I asked him yesterday if he was homesick, he said just a little bit.) Then at about 6 I went in the hot tub!! Sovann wanted to go too but it was too hot for him. Haha, he doesn’t even shower in hot water so he’s sensitive to it. Anddd today we have a lot to do, but I’ll probably write about it later so I’ll spare you for now.

                Two things I want to touch on: Sovann really likes my family and friends, he says they’re all really kind, which of course they are. :) It’s funny to see him so shy though – I’m sure he’ll warm up, but for now he’s been pretty quiet around them. Well, plus we speak pretty fast most of the time (let alone all the references relating to pop culture, or places in Vermont, or people we know or whatever) so it’s often hard for him to follow conversations. But he’ll get used to it after awhile, and people will get used to his (adorable) quirky way of communication, so I’m not too worried.

                And also, I don’t know if you can tell by this post, but I feel pretty damn happy to be here. (Although if I think about how we’ll probably be here for years and won’t be in Cambodia again anytime soon I start to freak out, so I’m trying to ignore that part for as long as possible.) Anyway, a big part of why I feel so happy is how amazing everyone has been to us. Seriously, Sovann and I really have a knack at surrounding ourselves with people who are ridiculously generous and help us out a ton. Having this place to stay with Sara makes like so much easier, and she’s been great about letting us eat her food before we go on a major shopping trip, and making us feel at home, and being great company. And my grandparents have been driving us around, they bought Sovann a fishing license (!!), some snacks, and gave us some clothes to keep warm! Skyler has also been giving us rides and buying us food. Dylan and Alanna got our whole phone situation figured out, and Dylan has done annoying paperwork for immigration to be Sovann’s official “sponsor” in the US. Alice (another aunt) has also given us warm clothes. Basically, we’re just way too lucky. We hope to stop having to mooch rides, food, and clothes off people soon, but for now we’re loving our (fake) vacation :)

                By the way, if any of you want specific info in the next blog – or if you have any questions for Sovann (I’m thinking of having an interview with him for a blog sometime) let me know!

               

                

Thoughts on a cross-cultural relationship

If any of you are interested in learning a little bit about the complexities of Sovann's and my cross-cultural relationship relationship - which has been in existence for over 2 years now! - here are some thoughts and reminiscence...

Some background info: During the first couple weeks of Sovann and I dating, we got along really well but there was some drama surrounding whether we were “allowed” to go out together because, well, I had basically been taken in by a Cambodian family at the time. And I love Ponheary, basically my substitute mother at the time, but she one time said to me, “Good Khmer girls come home at 6pm. But because you’re a foreigner, we’ll let you stay out until 8.” Ha, you should’ve seen the look on my face. And Sovann was scared to death of her, as she was his boss. But anyway, at that time I thought that perhaps the only difficulties we’d encounter would come from outside sources - other people creating barriers between us. “Well,” I thought to myself, “despite all our cultural differences, it’s a good sign if problems are being caused by external forces rather than actual differences between us as people. That’s sweet.” Boy, how naive I was; I couldn’t have been more wrong. That external issue quickly evaporated and more and more internal problems arose. Overall - since then and until today - being with Sovann has been a roller coaster of emotions, to use a cliche. But I’ve learned so much about myself in the process, and of course it’s all been more than worth it to gain such a loving relationship.

The first real aspect I want to explore is communication. Some people have asked me - and I have a feeling that even more have wondered, how can you communicate well with each other? That is, well enough to stay in a healthy relationship. I think this is a totally legit question, because I believe - as many of us do - that communication is no doubt one of the most important aspects in a relationship. Not only to get to know, understand, and love each other, but also to keep the relationship sustainable by avoiding and solving conflicts. There have certainly been numerous times when misunderstandings have caused some minor issues between Sovann and I - like the time he seemed annoyed by something so I asked him, “Are you mad?” to which he replied “No, why?” and I said “You seem mad” and he angrily hung up the phone on me. Turned out he wasn’t mad to begin with but he had only known the word “mad” to mean “crazy” so he thought I was calling him crazy and then got pissed off.

But then... there are some interesting things that language barriers can do to a relationship, and sometimes in a good way. Sure, I can’t talk as freely to him as I do to my English-speaking friends, speaking quickly or using obscure idioms... and sometimes tones and sarcasm don’t translate well. But in other ways, I feel like it makes our communication more... raw. We’re forced to say exactly what we mean because we can’t expect the other to interpret it any other way - there’s no room passive aggressiveness because it probably won’t be detected. And also, I’ve learned that words can have so much more power when they’re self-created for lack of standard vocabulary. In the past, during some of our rougher times and during heated fights, Sovann has come up with his own insults for me, calling me a “shit girl” and a “nothing girl”. That hurt me so much more than if he had called me a bitch or a cunt or any other curse word. Because he didn’t just go blindly reaching for any insult in the book; he took the mental energy to create them, and therefore he really meant them. (I don’t mean to make him out as an emotionally abusive guy - God knows we’ve all purposefully said and done hurtful things to loved ones.) And it should be known that words can be just as powerful in a positive way. I remember cuddling in bed with Sovann one day and we were being all cheesy talking about how much we loved each other. But instead of him telling me something like “You are the light of my life” or “I would walk a thousand miles for you” or whatever... instead he said, “Jasmine, I just want to swallow you and keep you in my stomach forever.” And that was so... sincere, and somehow just the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me. Again, because it wasn’t anything even close to a cliche, it had real meaning.

The other aspect I want to approach is the actual cultural clash - mainly the differences in customs and belief systems. One of the most memorable moments of our relationship was when we had first started dating and I went out late one night with some of my friends. Sovann got angry at me for this and I couldn’t imagine why. I told him, “You go out late with your friends all the time!” And his response to me was, “Are you a man or are you a girl?” Again, you should’ve seen the look on my face! Looking back on it, I wonder why the hell I even wanted to continue a relationship with someone with such a sexist attitude. And I honestly still don’t know the answer to that question, but luckily his attitudes have changed a lot since then.

There have been a million and one disagreements and arguments since we’ve been together that revolve around cultural differences... like me wearing clothes that he considers “too sexy,” or him having multiple friends who cheat on their wives with prostitutes, or him not being able to give me a kiss in the morning because he’s superstitious that it’ll give him bad luck for that day. But each and every time, we’ve managed to compromise. We don’t just dismiss each other’s ideas as silly or backwards or wrong - we try our best to understand where they come from and figure out a compromise that allows to stay together without creating too much resentment or suppression of happiness. Call it luck, call it love, call it crazy, but we’ve always managed to work it out. We’ve gotten to the point where we’ve written out deals on paper so we can remember them. We’ve come up with weird compromises like “I won’t try to get tan anymore if you don’t wear that ugly shirt anymore.” Or “I won’t hug my male Khmer friends anymore if you stop talking to that girl who’s in love with you and keeps calling you, who you’ve never actually met before because originally she just called you as a wrong number.” You can judge, but it works for us.

Lastly, the best part of being in a cross-cultural relationship is all the fascinating, silly, and unique moments you get to experience. Probably my favorite was after about two and a half months of Sovann and I dating when I went with him to visit his family in Battambang. The first conversation I ever had with his father went like this (through a translator): “What do your parents do?” “My mom’s a nurse and my dad works with little kids.” “Oh. Will your and Sovann’s wedding be in Cambodia or the US?” Haha, so Khmer. It’s also pretty interesting when I go there and see his mother, a traditional healer, do her work and help people who are intermittently possessed with spirits of other people - old men, children, you name it. And let me just ask: how many of you have had the pleasure of playing the drinking game “spin the duck head”? How many of your significant others have come across on a frog on the driveway, thrown it against a concrete fence, and fried it up for dinner? Fun stuff.

So... after reflecting on these thoughts, I’ve realized something myself: cross-cultural relationships aren’t so different from other relationships, really, they’re just taken to a different degree - to an extreme. In every relationship, communication is key, compromise is necessary, and there are memorable moments to be had. Cross-cultural relationships can just be a bit more challenging at times... but also so, so rewarding.

Read about my feelings or fuck you.

Just kidding, about the title... it was something I said while debating about whether I should start a blog or not. I have doubts that anyone will really be interested in reading about my thoughts and whatnot (except maybe my mom, but I'm not sure she counts) but I guess it doesn't hurt to write things down. My friends and family tell me I'm an open book... sometimes too much of one, kind of an aggressive book, like "Read me! Read about my feelings or fuck you!" So, yep. Enjoy! :P

Okay, I’ve put so much time, effort, and money into this visa process, that I should not only feel thankful that we’re less than a month away from going to the US, but I should also feel damn excited! Instead, I’ve been kind of freaking out (stressing) lately about the fact that we’re leaving, which is understandable (especially with the pressure of making a commitment of living in the US for three years straight if we want to shoot for citizenship for Sovann), but I think I’ve also been kind of self-pitying, which is inexcusable. And frankly, it doesn’t look (or feel) good on me. I mean, yeah, the weather will be a shock, everything will be expensive, and adjustments in general won’t necessarily be easy. But hey, we knew from the beginning what we’d be getting ourselves into and still decided to go for it full-steam-ahead. Matter of fact, the adventure, the challenges, and the changes were the main motivations to go. When I look back at my mindset two and a half years ago, what drew me to Cambodia – in part – was the desire for change, for something novel, different, and even a little exotic. High school was going fine, but it just got a little ‘same old, same old’ and I felt the urge to mix it up. And now I’m basically at that same stage again. Living in Cambodia has been so rewarding for me, but now, after 2+ years, I feel like it's given me all it has to offer at the moment. It's time to go somewhere that will allow me to grow again. So why do I feel so much less certain this time? Maybe I’ve just had too much time waiting so I’ve resorted to overthinking. But I have to remember that when we signed up for this, we were looking for an adventure, and no matter what happens, that it shall be! So now, it’s time to focus on the good so I can thoroughly enjoy the anticipation period. Here are some things – both significant and petty, difficult and easy – that I’m psyched for (in no particular order):

-Showing Sovann things! Everything from snow to Costco, from taking him bowling to teaching him how to use a laundry machine. (edit: Oops, my mom pointed out to me that it's called a "washing machine"... apparently it's been too long.) This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience for Sovann and I’m so gonna appreciate seeing my country through his eyes for the first time.

-Seeing family and friends! This is an obvious one, but lately I really have been getting envious when I hear about family get-togethers and whatnot. 

-Sovann meeting everyone! Obviously Sovann knows and is close with my parents already, but it’ll be great for him to get to know the rest of my family (and friends); I’m confident they’ll get along really well and it’ll be comforting for him to have what he’ll no doubt consider family surrounding him. He already calls them “my grandfather,” “my aunt,” etc. when talking about them.

-Flipping through channels and actually being able to find something decent on. Choices, choices! (Some people would disagree with me on this one being true in the US, but if you saw what channels I would settle for over here then you’d understand.)

-Doing our own laundry in a machine! And not having to hang it up to dry.

-Work! Crazy, I know, but I'm really excited to actually be able to work several hours straight, rather than having a weird broken up work day with lots of bicycle riding place to place. Also, my tentative/ideal plan is to become a personal care assistant (or caregiver or whatever you wanna call it)... I think it would be interesting to do something like that, and helpful if I do end up majoring in social work. So, hopefully I’ll be able to find that kind of job when I get there. I’m also just really excited to be done teaching – it’s funny, I’ve thought I wanted to be a teacher since I was little, but I’ve realized here that that’s not the case. Yay for no more teaching! Also, Sovann working in a restaurant will be so cool.

-Video games! My parents got me a Super Nintendo for Christmas, hehe, and I’m hoping to get Dance Dance Revolution ASAP (exercise!)

-Food! Comfort food at my fingertips 24/7 :) And exploring the Asian markets with Sovann, and him experimenting with cooking different meals.

-Living with my Aunt! My Aunt Sara has graciously offered us a room to rent in her house for a super-reasonable rate. Her house is beautiful, in a convenient location, and it has pool table which Sovann will love. And mostly, it has her! We’re both really looking forward to her company. She’s really put our minds at ease by allowing us to not have to worry about finding an apartment right away and having a great, familiar living space waiting for us.

-UVM classes. This won’t be until the Fall, and I’m actually kind of nervous, but it’ll be good too. I’ll have completed two years (debt-free!) at CCV, but I’m ready for a more typical (and challenging) college experience.

-Libraries! You mean I can read books for free? Awesome :)

-Not feeling like an outsider. I’ve called Siem Reap “home” for awhile now, so it gets kind of frustrating to be spoken to like I’m a tourist by anyone who doesn’t know me. Of course I can’t blame the people who talk to me, and usually I’ll say something in Khmer to clue them in, but now I’ve gotten sick of the recurring “Wow, you speak Khmer! How long have you been here!?” conversation again and again. I’m just excited to go in a grocery store and have a bland “How are you? I’m good,” exchange with the cashier. And no ‘Hello lady’s from random tuk-tuk drivers on the road! Oh god, thank god there will be no more ‘Hello lady’s.

-So many things I don’t even know about yet! I have a feeling when we get there we’ll remember/realize lots of things that are exciting/interesting/different.

Sovann’s top things-to-be-excited-for list: Snow, meeting family, going fishing with my grandfather (he will not shut up about this! and when I told him he had to wait until the summer he was crushed. haha), earning money (don’t worry, he knows he’ll have to spend most of it on ridiculously expensive things, but still, earning anything more than $0-15 a day is a novel concept for him!), playing pool. 

It’s funny, I’ve talked to so many people about Sovann moving to the States and have gotten such different ideas from different individuals. Some people have told me straight out that they don’t think Sovann will like it, or that it’ll be really difficult for him to handle (and probably even more people think it but aren’t candid enough to say it out loud). And then others say that it’s much easier for Cambodians to adjust to the US than it is for Americans to adjust to Cambodia. (Still not sure if I agree with that... not that I have the experience to know, and this guy certainly did. His reasoning was that Cambodians have already gone through so much change – from not having electricity or running water when they were young to... well, look at Siem Reap today, Pub Street is practically Vegas... so they’re used to big changes. But I would also argue that when most Westerners come to Cambodia they live in a pretty Westernized bubble so that “adjustment” should be easy too.) I’ve also heard the opinion that it’s condescending or even prejudiced for people to think Sovann won’t be able to handle it while they had no trouble believing that I would be fine coming here. Although to be fair, a couple of my friends also had their doubts about me (“Won’t you be lonely?”) so maybe it’s not a prejudiced thing, who knows. Anyway, I'm pretty confident in Sovann's ability to embrace the situation, difficult or not. Mostly because he has some really insightful thoughts about us moving there. Whenever I (or others) bring up the things to be nervous about or how he’ll miss home, he says something to the effect of, “Of course I’ll miss my family, but life is always changing. We can’t stay at one place all the time. I know it will be difficult at first, we can’t be happy anywhere all the time, but I hope step by step it will get a little bit easier and happier.”

:)